{"id":"01KJR8Q6DGEC74MRV583DC951H","cid":"bafkreicqvwwtv5qtmypez6wyfl7wistrywyyk63coyh4xfyofr5dd63p44","type":"text_chunk","properties":{"char_end":320913,"char_start":312972,"chunk_index":44,"chunk_total":89,"estimated_tokens":1986,"source_file_key":"confessions","text":"for us, who now intercedeth unto Thee for us.\r\n\r\nI further read, Be angry, and sin not. And how was I moved, O my God,\r\nwho had now learned to be angry at myself for things past, that I might\r\nnot sin in time to come! Yea, to be justly angry; for that it was not\r\nanother nature of a people of darkness which sinned for me, as they say\r\nwho are not angry at themselves, and treasure up wrath against the day\r\nof wrath, and of the revelation of Thy just judgment. Nor were my good\r\nthings now without, nor sought with the eyes of flesh in that earthly\r\nsun; for they that would have joy from without soon become vain, and\r\nwaste themselves on the things seen and temporal, and in their famished\r\nthoughts do lick their very shadows. Oh that they were wearied out with\r\ntheir famine, and said, Who will show us good things? And we would say,\r\nand they hear, The light of Thy countenance is sealed upon us. For we\r\nare not that light which enlighteneth every man, but we are enlightened\r\nby Thee; that having been sometimes darkness, we may be light in Thee.\r\nOh that they could see the eternal Internal, which having tasted, I was\r\ngrieved that I could not show It them, so long as they brought me their\r\nheart in their eyes roving abroad from Thee, while they said, Who will\r\nshow us good things? For there, where I was angry within myself in my\r\nchamber, where I was inwardly pricked, where I had sacrificed, slaying\r\nmy old man and commencing the purpose of a new life, putting my trust\r\nin Thee,--there hadst Thou begun to grow sweet unto me, and hadst put\r\ngladness in my heart. And I cried out, as I read this outwardly, finding\r\nit inwardly. Nor would I be multiplied with worldly goods; wasting away\r\ntime, and wasted by time; whereas I had in Thy eternal Simple Essence\r\nother corn, and wine, and oil.\r\n\r\nAnd with a loud cry of my heart I cried out in the next verse, O in\r\npeace, O for The Self-same! O what said he, I will lay me down and\r\nsleep, for who shall hinder us, when cometh to pass that saying which is\r\nwritten, Death is swallowed up in victory? And Thou surpassingly art the\r\nSelf-same, Who art not changed; and in Thee is rest which forgetteth all\r\ntoil, for there is none other with Thee, nor are we to seek those many\r\nother things, which are not what Thou art: but Thou, Lord, alone hast\r\nmade me dwell in hope. I read, and kindled; nor found I what to do to\r\nthose deaf and dead, of whom myself had been, a pestilent person, a\r\nbitter and a blind bawler against those writings, which are honied\r\nwith the honey of heaven, and lightsome with Thine own light: and I was\r\nconsumed with zeal at the enemies of this Scripture.\r\n\r\nWhen shall I recall all which passed in those holy-days? Yet neither\r\nhave I forgotten, nor will I pass over the severity of Thy scourge, and\r\nthe wonderful swiftness of Thy mercy. Thou didst then torment me with\r\npain in my teeth; which when it had come to such height that I could not\r\nspeak, it came into my heart to desire all my friends present to pray\r\nfor me to Thee, the God of all manner of health. And this I wrote on\r\nwax, and gave it them to read. Presently so soon as with humble devotion\r\nwe had bowed our knees, that pain went away. But what pain? or how went\r\nit away? I was affrighted, O my Lord, my God; for from infancy I had\r\nnever experienced the like. And the power of Thy Nod was deeply conveyed\r\nto me, and rejoicing in faith, I praised Thy Name. And that faith\r\nsuffered me not to be at ease about my past sins, which were not yet\r\nforgiven me by Thy baptism.\r\n\r\nThe vintage-vacation ended, I gave notice to the Milanese to provide\r\ntheir scholars with another master to sell words to them; for that I had\r\nboth made choice to serve Thee, and through my difficulty of breathing\r\nand pain in my chest was not equal to the Professorship. And by letters\r\nI signified to Thy Prelate, the holy man Ambrose, my former errors and\r\npresent desires, begging his advice what of Thy Scriptures I had best\r\nread, to become readier and fitter for receiving so great grace. He\r\nrecommended Isaiah the Prophet: I believe, because he above the rest\r\nis a more clear foreshower of the Gospel and of the calling of the\r\nGentiles. But I, not understanding the first lesson in him, and\r\nimagining the whole to be like it, laid it by, to be resumed when better\r\npractised in our Lord's own words.\r\n\r\nThence, when the time was come wherein I was to give in my name, we left\r\nthe country and returned to Milan. It pleased Alypius also to be with\r\nme born again in Thee, being already clothed with the humility befitting\r\nThy Sacraments; and a most valiant tamer of the body, so as, with\r\nunwonted venture, to wear the frozen ground of Italy with his bare feet.\r\nWe joined with us the boy Adeodatus, born after the flesh, of my sin.\r\nExcellently hadst Thou made him. He was not quite fifteen, and in wit\r\nsurpassed many grave and learned men. I confess unto Thee Thy gifts,\r\nO Lord my God, Creator of all, and abundantly able to reform our\r\ndeformities: for I had no part in that boy, but the sin. For that we\r\nbrought him up in Thy discipline, it was Thou, none else, had inspired\r\nus with it. I confess unto Thee Thy gifts. There is a book of ours\r\nentitled The Master; it is a dialogue between him and me. Thou knowest\r\nthat all there ascribed to the person conversing with me were his ideas,\r\nin his sixteenth year. Much besides, and yet more admirable, I found\r\nin him. That talent struck awe into me. And who but Thou could be the\r\nworkmaster of such wonders? Soon didst Thou take his life from the\r\nearth: and I now remember him without anxiety, fearing nothing for\r\nhis childhood or youth, or his whole self. Him we joined with us, our\r\ncontemporary in grace, to be brought up in Thy discipline: and we were\r\nbaptised, and anxiety for our past life vanished from us. Nor was I\r\nsated in those days with the wondrous sweetness of considering the depth\r\nof Thy counsels concerning the salvation of mankind. How did I weep,\r\nin Thy Hymns and Canticles, touched to the quick by the voices of Thy\r\nsweet-attuned Church! The voices flowed into mine ears, and the\r\nTruth distilled into my heart, whence the affections of my devotion\r\noverflowed, and tears ran down, and happy was I therein.\r\n\r\nNot long had the Church of Milan begun to use this kind of consolation\r\nand exhortation, the brethren zealously joining with harmony of voice\r\nand hearts. For it was a year, or not much more, that Justina, mother\r\nto the Emperor Valentinian, a child, persecuted Thy servant Ambrose, in\r\nfavour of her heresy, to which she was seduced by the Arians. The devout\r\npeople kept watch in the Church, ready to die with their Bishop Thy\r\nservant. There my mother Thy handmaid, bearing a chief part of those\r\nanxieties and watchings, lived for prayer. We, yet unwarmed by the heat\r\nof Thy Spirit, still were stirred up by the sight of the amazed and\r\ndisquieted city. Then it was first instituted that after the manner of\r\nthe Eastern Churches, Hymns and Psalms should be sung, lest the people\r\nshould wax faint through the tediousness of sorrow: and from that day to\r\nthis the custom is retained, divers (yea, almost all) Thy congregations,\r\nthroughout other parts of the world following herein.\r\n\r\nThen didst Thou by a vision discover to Thy forenamed Bishop where the\r\nbodies of Gervasius and Protasius the martyrs lay hid (whom Thou hadst\r\nin Thy secret treasury stored uncorrupted so many years), whence Thou\r\nmightest seasonably produce them to repress the fury of a woman, but an\r\nEmpress. For when they were discovered and dug up, and with due honour\r\ntranslated to the Ambrosian Basilica, not only they who were vexed with\r\nunclean spirits (the devils confessing themselves) were cured, but a\r\ncertain man who had for many years been blind, a citizen, and well known\r\nto the city, asking and hearing the reason of the people's confused joy,\r\nsprang forth desiring his guide to lead him thither."},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KJR8NK5DAD726FMQ6JCHGZ5R","peer_label":"confessions","peer_type":"text","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KJR8M0JHPZXCPKJ34HTYXSWW","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KJR8RBRNY6A8BA7KMBBK49P2","peer_label":"narrator augustine","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RM469XEEVHNJNEGV2NDW","peer_label":"alypius","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPQ014973B1EXZ63SPST","peer_label":"adeodatus","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RC90MA484QJAVK6C7F7D","peer_label":"ambrose","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8R5M8VXDW8Z6YHQTCPK14","peer_label":"god","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"divine_being","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RX8NZ446EY77AD4FQNJJ","peer_label":"milan","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"city","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RBFPDK0CCAWXRTYKGYXK","peer_label":"ambrosian basilica","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_building","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SCFE4M1G5VFF4XCZDKGD","peer_label":"justina","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SD38HZAW2BTFH75KBSJA","peer_label":"church of milan","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_institution","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SDJ3HGXRJJ26XRZ1VVPV","peer_label":"gervasius","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SDP2X6SKR90CF4002B6S","peer_label":"emperor valentinian","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SDS859PCWBJC18BAECRJ","peer_label":"scripture","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_text_collection","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SDWS0WDRZNSTR423JAHB","peer_label":"protasius","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SED16R9QWFVFY6DGTBD2","peer_label":"isaiah the prophet","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SEX7ZQP0PZ5K3QCRDXG9","peer_label":"the self-same","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SF25RTV0MVKPJJX532RY","peer_label":"pestilent person","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SDWH71F1VCX8FCWP98F4","peer_label":"the master book","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"book","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SF1A95D6AYMTGVKX9D25","peer_label":"arians","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_group","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SF476W8N4MNJ0V3HYHGE","peer_label":"hymns and canticles","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_practice","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SFGHSJN6TJPXQBFSD4A6","peer_label":"milanese","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SF73KZE7BVB7R0JF1J7W","peer_label":"narrators mother monica","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SFV3GDHCXTECK9V9TBP6","peer_label":"martyr","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8SG0A126GFVJATCY6EMK4","peer_label":"prayer","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:43.172Z"}}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-03-02T21:54:24.816Z","ts":"2026-03-02T21:55:44.337Z","edited_by":{"method":"system","user_id":"01KJ60XQBHJ0GBGTP9X8HXAPPM"}}