{"id":"01KJR8Q6CNAHEE131CCQ7W62QN","cid":"bafkreiaav56pjyitxzyoguui5udtbgh3caw74fcadxuwkdfeert3esbqum","type":"text_chunk","properties":{"char_end":263937,"char_start":255959,"chunk_index":36,"chunk_total":89,"estimated_tokens":1995,"source_file_key":"confessions","text":"I had ceased to doubt that there was an incorruptible substance, whence\r\nwas all other substance; nor did I now desire to be more certain of\r\nThee, but more steadfast in Thee. But for my temporal life, all was\r\nwavering, and my heart had to be purged from the old leaven. The Way,\r\nthe Saviour Himself, well pleased me, but as yet I shrunk from going\r\nthrough its straitness. And Thou didst put into my mind, and it seemed\r\ngood in my eyes, to go to Simplicianus, who seemed to me a good servant\r\nof Thine; and Thy grace shone in him. I had heard also that from his\r\nvery youth he had lived most devoted unto Thee. Now he was grown into\r\nyears; and by reason of so great age spent in such zealous following of\r\nThy ways, he seemed to me likely to have learned much experience; and\r\nso he had. Out of which store I wished that he would tell me (setting\r\nbefore him my anxieties) which were the fittest way for one in my case\r\nto walk in Thy paths.\r\n\r\nFor, I saw the church full; and one went this way, and another that way.\r\nBut I was displeased that I led a secular life; yea now that my desires\r\nno longer inflamed me, as of old, with hopes of honour and profit,\r\na very grievous burden it was to undergo so heavy a bondage. For, in\r\ncomparison of Thy sweetness, and the beauty of Thy house which I loved,\r\nthose things delighted me no longer. But still I was enthralled with\r\nthe love of woman; nor did the Apostle forbid me to marry, although he\r\nadvised me to something better, chiefly wishing that all men were as\r\nhimself was. But I being weak, chose the more indulgent place; and\r\nbecause of this alone, was tossed up and down in all beside, faint and\r\nwasted with withering cares, because in other matters I was constrained\r\nagainst my will to conform myself to a married life, to which I was\r\ngiven up and enthralled. I had heard from the mouth of the Truth,\r\nthat there were some eunuchs which had made themselves eunuchs for the\r\nkingdom of heaven's sake: but, saith He, let him who can receive it,\r\nreceive it. Surely vain are all men who are ignorant of God, and could\r\nnot out of the good things which are seen, find out Him who is good. But\r\nI was no longer in that vanity; I had surmounted it; and by the common\r\nwitness of all Thy creatures had found Thee our Creator, and Thy Word,\r\nGod with Thee, and together with Thee one God, by whom Thou createdst\r\nall things. There is yet another kind of ungodly, who knowing God,\r\nglorified Him not as God, neither were thankful. Into this also had\r\nI fallen, but Thy right hand upheld me, and took me thence, and Thou\r\nplacedst me where I might recover. For Thou hast said unto man, Behold,\r\nthe fear of the Lord is wisdom, and, Desire not to seem wise; because\r\nthey who affirmed themselves to be wise, became fools. But I had now\r\nfound the goodly pearl, which, selling all that I had, I ought to have\r\nbought, and I hesitated.\r\n\r\nTo Simplicianus then I went, the father of Ambrose (a Bishop now) in\r\nreceiving Thy grace, and whom Ambrose truly loved as a father. To him I\r\nrelated the mazes of my wanderings. But when I mentioned that I had read\r\ncertain books of the Platonists, which Victorinus, sometime Rhetoric\r\nProfessor of Rome (who had died a Christian, as I had heard), had\r\ntranslated into Latin, he testified his joy that I had not fallen upon\r\nthe writings of other philosophers, full of fallacies and deceits, after\r\nthe rudiments of this world, whereas the Platonists many ways led to the\r\nbelief in God and His Word. Then to exhort me to the humility of\r\nChrist, hidden from the wise, and revealed to little ones, he spoke of\r\nVictorinus himself, whom while at Rome he had most intimately known: and\r\nof him he related what I will not conceal. For it contains great praise\r\nof Thy grace, to be confessed unto Thee, how that aged man, most learned\r\nand skilled in the liberal sciences, and who had read, and weighed\r\nso many works of the philosophers; the instructor of so many noble\r\nSenators, who also, as a monument of his excellent discharge of his\r\noffice, had (which men of this world esteem a high honour) both deserved\r\nand obtained a statue in the Roman Forum; he, to that age a worshipper\r\nof idols, and a partaker of the sacrilegious rites, to which almost all\r\nthe nobility of Rome were given up, and had inspired the people with the\r\nlove of\r\n\r\n         Anubis, barking Deity, and all\r\n         The monster Gods of every kind, who fought\r\n         'Gainst Neptune, Venus, and Minerva:\r\n\r\nwhom Rome once conquered, now adored, all which the aged Victorinus had\r\nwith thundering eloquence so many years defended;--he now blushed not\r\nto be the child of Thy Christ, and the new-born babe of Thy fountain;\r\nsubmitting his neck to the yoke of humility, and subduing his forehead\r\nto the reproach of the Cross.\r\n\r\nO Lord, Lord, Which hast bowed the heavens and come down, touched the\r\nmountains and they did smoke, by what means didst Thou convey Thyself\r\ninto that breast? He used to read (as Simplicianus said) the holy\r\nScripture, most studiously sought and searched into all the Christian\r\nwritings, and said to Simplicianus (not openly, but privately and as\r\na friend), \"Understand that I am already a Christian.\" Whereto he\r\nanswered, \"I will not believe it, nor will I rank you among Christians,\r\nunless I see you in the Church of Christ.\" The other, in banter,\r\nreplied, \"Do walls then make Christians?\" And this he often said, that\r\nhe was already a Christian; and Simplicianus as often made the same\r\nanswer, and the conceit of the \"walls\" was by the other as often\r\nrenewed. For he feared to offend his friends, proud daemon-worshippers,\r\nfrom the height of whose Babylonian dignity, as from cedars of Libanus,\r\nwhich the Lord had not yet broken down, he supposed the weight of enmity\r\nwould fall upon him. But after that by reading and earnest thought he\r\nhad gathered firmness, and feared to be denied by Christ before the holy\r\nangels, should he now be afraid to confess Him before men, and appeared\r\nto himself guilty of a heavy offence, in being ashamed of the Sacraments\r\nof the humility of Thy Word, and not being ashamed of the sacrilegious\r\nrites of those proud daemons, whose pride he had imitated and their\r\nrites adopted, he became bold-faced against vanity, and shame-faced\r\ntowards the truth, and suddenly and unexpectedly said to Simplicianus\r\n(as himself told me), \"Go we to the Church; I wish to be made a\r\nChristian.\" But he, not containing himself for joy, went with him. And\r\nhaving been admitted to the first Sacrament and become a Catechumen, not\r\nlong after he further gave in his name, that he might be regenerated by\r\nbaptism, Rome wondering, the Church rejoicing. The proud saw, and were\r\nwroth; they gnashed with their teeth, and melted away. But the Lord\r\nGod was the hope of Thy servant, and he regarded not vanities and lying\r\nmadness.\r\n\r\nTo conclude, when the hour was come for making profession of his faith\r\n(which at Rome they, who are about to approach to Thy grace, deliver,\r\nfrom an elevated place, in the sight of all the faithful, in a set\r\nform of words committed to memory), the presbyters, he said, offered\r\nVictorinus (as was done to such as seemed likely through bashfulness to\r\nbe alarmed) to make his profession more privately: but he chose rather\r\nto profess his salvation in the presence of the holy multitude. \"For\r\nit was not salvation that he taught in rhetoric, and yet that he had\r\npublicly professed: how much less then ought he, when pronouncing Thy\r\nword, to dread Thy meek flock, who, when delivering his own words,\r\nhad not feared a mad multitude!\" When, then, he went up to make his\r\nprofession, all, as they knew him, whispered his name one to another\r\nwith the voice of congratulation. And who there knew him not? and there\r\nran a low murmur through all the mouths of the rejoicing multitude,\r\nVictorinus! Victorinus! Sudden was the burst of rapture, that they saw\r\nhim; suddenly were they hushed that they might hear him."},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KJR8NK5DAD726FMQ6JCHGZ5R","peer_label":"confessions","peer_type":"text","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KJR8M0JHPZXCPKJ34HTYXSWW","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KJR8RD2NFT9YY9Y8DW1AWFFS","peer_label":"narrator","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RC90MA484QJAVK6C7F7D","peer_label":"ambrose","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8REJ3XZHYDFK5JKT9RHP3","peer_label":"rome","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"city","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RN5ZJKVPVH92M5400136","peer_label":"sacraments","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_rite","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNPPMT7WHCMPVX4QDN65","peer_label":"baptism","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_rite","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNN6Y9SYXKAXEZD6CWF9","peer_label":"platonists","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_school","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNKM9MXJJAK8NAEYP988","peer_label":"simplicianus","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNSX95JMP2Y2HQYRXVTT","peer_label":"victorinus","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNSCC4E5VGDQEHJ0PJ4Y","peer_label":"the way","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNYADVBYMFVX4EMJ9YYY","peer_label":"roman forum","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"historic_site","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNN8NFEZQR9BC55SHQDN","peer_label":"god","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"divine_figure","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RP79EC8FZQR15NPJXDAE","peer_label":"anubis","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"deity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPA01JQ7A1FBSWKKY6NG","peer_label":"neptune","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"deity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPARKW87P79HS7DHRYNW","peer_label":"venus","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"deity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPV99X92WY9RX26KRMYA","peer_label":"babylonian dignity","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPHKA2GM9ECBTZ2B5E99","peer_label":"holy scripture","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"sacred_text","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPBWH45MXW6N1KEXKJ4F","peer_label":"minerva","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"deity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPFFQNGQEAJM7Q3KS2KE","peer_label":"christ","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"divine_figure","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RQ0D9MAC8MZWHQ51V17A","peer_label":"church of christ","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_institution","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPV5RFXBGQX46EJ34MTV","peer_label":"christian writings","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"sacred_text","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RQ5CAZKXPQWSVX27TDS5","peer_label":"catechumen","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_role","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RQJAG23Y18P5R4AXDR1W","peer_label":"presbyters","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"religious_role","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RQRG5KCJ1QBNM8BVTMJP","peer_label":"love of woman","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.483Z"}}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-03-02T21:54:24.789Z","ts":"2026-03-02T21:55:18.489Z","edited_by":{"method":"system","user_id":"01KJ60XQBHJ0GBGTP9X8HXAPPM"}}