{"id":"01KJR8Q6BTAGC1MS8WD3KD40TY","cid":"bafkreige2jsrj355kxhxgvv4kt3vqlr3ast2t5lwyb4jhdkd7eedtmu2w4","type":"text_chunk","properties":{"char_end":199866,"char_start":192060,"chunk_index":27,"chunk_total":89,"estimated_tokens":1952,"source_file_key":"confessions","text":"alone with the hatchet in his hand, the noise whereof had startled and\r\nbrought them thither. They seize him, hale him away, and gathering the\r\ndwellers in the market-place together, boast of having taken a notorious\r\nthief, and so he was being led away to be taken before the judge.\r\n\r\nBut thus far was Alypius to be instructed. For forthwith, O Lord, Thou\r\nsuccouredst his innocency, whereof Thou alone wert witness. For as he\r\nwas being led either to prison or to punishment, a certain architect met\r\nthem, who had the chief charge of the public buildings. Glad they\r\nwere to meet him especially, by whom they were wont to be suspected of\r\nstealing the goods lost out of the market-place, as though to show him at\r\nlast by whom these thefts were committed. He, however, had divers times\r\nseen Alypius at a certain senator's house, to whom he often went to pay\r\nhis respects; and recognising him immediately, took him aside by the\r\nhand, and enquiring the occasion of so great a calamity, heard the whole\r\nmatter, and bade all present, amid much uproar and threats, to go with\r\nhim. So they came to the house of the young man who had done the\r\ndeed. There, before the door, was a boy so young as to be likely, not\r\napprehending any harm to his master, to disclose the whole. For he\r\nhad attended his master to the market-place. Whom so soon as Alypius\r\nremembered, he told the architect: and he showing the hatchet to the\r\nboy, asked him \"Whose that was?\" \"Ours,\" quoth he presently: and being\r\nfurther questioned, he discovered every thing. Thus the crime being\r\ntransferred to that house, and the multitude ashamed, which had begun\r\nto insult over Alypius, he who was to be a dispenser of Thy Word, and an\r\nexaminer of many causes in Thy Church, went away better experienced and\r\ninstructed.\r\n\r\nHim then I had found at Rome, and he clave to me by a most strong tie,\r\nand went with me to Milan, both that he might not leave me, and might\r\npractise something of the law he had studied, more to please his parents\r\nthan himself. There he had thrice sat as Assessor, with an uncorruptness\r\nmuch wondered at by others, he wondering at others rather who could\r\nprefer gold to honesty. His character was tried besides, not only with\r\nthe bait of covetousness, but with the goad of fear. At Rome he was\r\nAssessor to the count of the Italian Treasury. There was at that time a\r\nvery powerful senator, to whose favours many stood indebted, many much\r\nfeared. He would needs, by his usual power, have a thing allowed him\r\nwhich by the laws was unallowed. Alypius resisted it: a bribe was\r\npromised; with all his heart he scorned it: threats were held out; he\r\ntrampled upon them: all wondering at so unwonted a spirit, which neither\r\ndesired the friendship, nor feared the enmity of one so great and so\r\nmightily renowned for innumerable means of doing good or evil. And the\r\nvery judge, whose councillor Alypius was, although also unwilling\r\nit should be, yet did not openly refuse, but put the matter off upon\r\nAlypius, alleging that he would not allow him to do it: for in truth had\r\nthe judge done it, Alypius would have decided otherwise. With this one\r\nthing in the way of learning was he well-nigh seduced, that he might\r\nhave books copied for him at Praetorian prices, but consulting justice,\r\nhe altered his deliberation for the better; esteeming equity whereby he\r\nwas hindered more gainful than the power whereby he were allowed. These\r\nare slight things, but he that is faithful in little, is faithful also\r\nin much. Nor can that any how be void, which proceeded out of the mouth\r\nof Thy Truth: If ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous Mammon,\r\nwho will commit to your trust true riches? And if ye have not been\r\nfaithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which\r\nis your own? He being such, did at that time cleave to me, and with me\r\nwavered in purpose, what course of life was to be taken.\r\n\r\nNebridius also, who having left his native country near Carthage, yea\r\nand Carthage itself, where he had much lived, leaving his excellent\r\nfamily-estate and house, and a mother behind, who was not to follow him,\r\nhad come to Milan, for no other reason but that with me he might live in\r\na most ardent search after truth and wisdom. Like me he sighed, like\r\nme he wavered, an ardent searcher after true life, and a most acute\r\nexaminer of the most difficult questions. Thus were there the mouths\r\nof three indigent persons, sighing out their wants one to another, and\r\nwaiting upon Thee that Thou mightest give them their meat in due season.\r\nAnd in all the bitterness which by Thy mercy followed our worldly\r\naffairs, as we looked towards the end, why we should suffer all this,\r\ndarkness met us; and we turned away groaning, and saying, How long shall\r\nthese things be? This too we often said; and so saying forsook them not,\r\nfor as yet there dawned nothing certain, which these forsaken, we might\r\nembrace.\r\n\r\nAnd I, viewing and reviewing things, most wondered at the length of time\r\nfrom that my nineteenth year, wherein I had begun to kindle with the\r\ndesire of wisdom, settling when I had found her, to abandon all the\r\nempty hopes and lying frenzies of vain desires. And lo, I was now in\r\nmy thirtieth year, sticking in the same mire, greedy of enjoying things\r\npresent, which passed away and wasted my soul; while I said to myself,\r\n\"Tomorrow I shall find it; it will appear manifestly and I shall grasp\r\nit; lo, Faustus the Manichee will come, and clear every thing! O you\r\ngreat men, ye Academicians, it is true then, that no certainty can\r\nbe attained for the ordering of life! Nay, let us search the more\r\ndiligently, and despair not. Lo, things in the ecclesiastical books\r\nare not absurd to us now, which sometimes seemed absurd, and may be\r\notherwise taken, and in a good sense. I will take my stand, where, as\r\na child, my parents placed me, until the clear truth be found out. But\r\nwhere shall it be sought or when? Ambrose has no leisure; we have no\r\nleisure to read; where shall we find even the books? Whence, or when\r\nprocure them? from whom borrow them? Let set times be appointed, and\r\ncertain hours be ordered for the health of our soul. Great hope has\r\ndawned; the Catholic Faith teaches not what we thought, and vainly\r\naccused it of; her instructed members hold it profane to believe God to\r\nbe bounded by the figure of a human body: and do we doubt to 'knock,'\r\nthat the rest 'may be opened'? The forenoons our scholars take up; what\r\ndo we during the rest? Why not this? But when then pay we court to our\r\ngreat friends, whose favour we need? When compose what we may sell\r\nto scholars? When refresh ourselves, unbending our minds from this\r\nintenseness of care?\r\n\r\n\"Perish every thing, dismiss we these empty vanities, and betake\r\nourselves to the one search for truth! Life is vain, death uncertain; if\r\nit steals upon us on a sudden, in what state shall we depart hence?\r\nand where shall we learn what here we have neglected? and shall we not\r\nrather suffer the punishment of this negligence? What, if death itself\r\ncut off and end all care and feeling? Then must this be ascertained.\r\nBut God forbid this! It is no vain and empty thing, that the excellent\r\ndignity of the authority of the Christian Faith hath overspread the\r\nwhole world. Never would such and so great things be by God wrought for\r\nus, if with the death of the body the life of the soul came to an end.\r\nWherefore delay then to abandon worldly hopes, and give ourselves wholly\r\nto seek after God and the blessed life? But wait! Even those things are\r\npleasant; they have some, and no small sweetness. We must not lightly\r\nabandon them, for it were a shame to return again to them. See, it is\r\nno great matter now to obtain some station, and then what should we more\r\nwish 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