{"id":"01KJR8Q6AHRCZFF1FMHPHJJFD5","cid":"bafkreiahi3vdjtug64geztktbulyp2mwvxznmfgh4szpqad32m6nde5mdi","type":"text_chunk","properties":{"char_end":135467,"char_start":127468,"chunk_index":18,"chunk_total":89,"estimated_tokens":2000,"source_file_key":"confessions","text":"those most knotty volumes, unravelled by me, without aid from human\r\ninstruction; seeing I erred so foully, and with such sacrilegious\r\nshamefulness, in the doctrine of piety? Or what hindrance was a far\r\nslower wit to Thy little ones, since they departed not far from Thee,\r\nthat in the nest of Thy Church they might securely be fledged, and\r\nnourish the wings of charity, by the food of a sound faith. O Lord our\r\nGod, under the shadow of Thy wings let us hope; protect us, and carry\r\nus. Thou wilt carry us both when little, and even to hoar hairs wilt\r\nThou carry us; for our firmness, when it is Thou, then is it firmness;\r\nbut when our own, it is infirmity. Our good ever lives with Thee;\r\nfrom which when we turn away, we are turned aside. Let us now, O Lord,\r\nreturn, that we may not be overturned, because with Thee our good lives\r\nwithout any decay, which good art Thou; nor need we fear, lest there\r\nbe no place whither to return, because we fell from it: for through our\r\nabsence, our mansion fell not--Thy eternity.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nBOOK V\r\n\r\n\r\nAccept the sacrifice of my confessions from the ministry of my tongue,\r\nwhich Thou hast formed and stirred up to confess unto Thy name. Heal\r\nThou all my bones, and let them say, O Lord, who is like unto Thee? For\r\nhe who confesses to Thee doth not teach Thee what takes place within\r\nhim; seeing a closed heart closes not out Thy eye, nor can man's\r\nhard-heartedness thrust back Thy hand: for Thou dissolvest it at Thy\r\nwill in pity or in vengeance, and nothing can hide itself from Thy heat.\r\nBut let my soul praise Thee, that it may love Thee; and let it confess\r\nThy own mercies to Thee, that it may praise Thee. Thy whole creation\r\nceaseth not, nor is silent in Thy praises; neither the spirit of man\r\nwith voice directed unto Thee, nor creation animate or inanimate, by the\r\nvoice of those who meditate thereon: that so our souls may from their\r\nweariness arise towards Thee, leaning on those things which Thou hast\r\ncreated, and passing on to Thyself, who madest them wonderfully; and\r\nthere is refreshment and true strength.\r\n\r\nLet the restless, the godless, depart and flee from Thee; yet Thou seest\r\nthem, and dividest the darkness. And behold, the universe with them is\r\nfair, though they are foul. And how have they injured Thee? or how have\r\nthey disgraced Thy government, which, from the heaven to this lowest\r\nearth, is just and perfect? For whither fled they, when they fled from\r\nThy presence? or where dost not Thou find them? But they fled, that they\r\nmight not see Thee seeing them, and, blinded, might stumble against Thee\r\n(because Thou forsakest nothing Thou hast made); that the unjust, I say,\r\nmight stumble upon Thee, and justly be hurt; withdrawing themselves from\r\nthy gentleness, and stumbling at Thy uprightness, and falling upon their\r\nown ruggedness. Ignorant, in truth, that Thou art every where, Whom no\r\nplace encompasseth! and Thou alone art near, even to those that remove\r\nfar from Thee. Let them then be turned, and seek Thee; because not as\r\nthey have forsaken their Creator, hast Thou forsaken Thy creation. Let\r\nthem be turned and seek Thee; and behold, Thou art there in their heart,\r\nin the heart of those that confess to Thee, and cast themselves upon\r\nThee, and weep in Thy bosom, after all their rugged ways. Then dost\r\nThou gently wipe away their tears, and they weep the more, and joy\r\nin weeping; even for that Thou, Lord,--not man of flesh and blood,\r\nbut--Thou, Lord, who madest them, re-makest and comfortest them. But\r\nwhere was I, when I was seeking Thee? And Thou wert before me, but I had\r\ngone away from Thee; nor did I find myself, how much less Thee!\r\n\r\nI would lay open before my God that nine-and-twentieth year of mine\r\nage. There had then come to Carthage a certain Bishop of the Manichees,\r\nFaustus by name, a great snare of the Devil, and many were entangled\r\nby him through that lure of his smooth language: which though I did\r\ncommend, yet could I separate from the truth of the things which I was\r\nearnest to learn: nor did I so much regard the service of oratory as the\r\nscience which this Faustus, so praised among them, set before me to\r\nfeed upon. Fame had before bespoken him most knowing in all valuable\r\nlearning, and exquisitely skilled in the liberal sciences. And since I\r\nhad read and well remembered much of the philosophers, I compared some\r\nthings of theirs with those long fables of the Manichees, and found the\r\nformer the more probable; even although they could only prevail so far\r\nas to make judgment of this lower world, the Lord of it they could by\r\nno means find out. For Thou art great, O Lord, and hast respect unto the\r\nhumble, but the proud Thou beholdest afar off. Nor dost Thou draw near,\r\nbut to the contrite in heart, nor art found by the proud, no, not though\r\nby curious skill they could number the stars and the sand, and measure\r\nthe starry heavens, and track the courses of the planets.\r\n\r\nFor with their understanding and wit, which Thou bestowedst on them,\r\nthey search out these things; and much have they found out; and\r\nforetold, many years before, eclipses of those luminaries, the sun\r\nand moon,--what day and hour, and how many digits,--nor did their\r\ncalculation fail; and it came to pass as they foretold; and they wrote\r\ndown the rules they had found out, and these are read at this day, and\r\nout of them do others foretell in what year and month of the year, and\r\nwhat day of the month, and what hour of the day, and what part of its\r\nlight, moon or sun is to be eclipsed, and so it shall be, as it is\r\nforeshowed. At these things men, that know not this art, marvel and are\r\nastonished, and they that know it, exult, and are puffed up; and by\r\nan ungodly pride departing from Thee, and failing of Thy light, they\r\nforesee a failure of the sun's light, which shall be, so long before,\r\nbut see not their own, which is. For they search not religiously whence\r\nthey have the wit, wherewith they search out this. And finding that Thou\r\nmadest them, they give not themselves up to Thee, to preserve what Thou\r\nmadest, nor sacrifice to Thee what they have made themselves; nor slay\r\ntheir own soaring imaginations, as fowls of the air, nor their own\r\ndiving curiosities (wherewith, like the fishes of the sea, they wander\r\nover the unknown paths of the abyss), nor their own luxuriousness, as\r\nbeasts of the field, that Thou, Lord, a consuming fire, mayest burn up\r\nthose dead cares of theirs, and re-create themselves immortally.\r\n\r\nBut they knew not the way, Thy Word, by Whom Thou madest these things\r\nwhich they number, and themselves who number, and the sense whereby\r\nthey perceive what they number, and the understanding, out of which they\r\nnumber; or that of Thy wisdom there is no number. But the Only Begotten\r\nis Himself made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification,\r\nand was numbered among us, and paid tribute unto Caesar. They knew not\r\nthis way whereby to descend to Him from themselves, and by Him ascend\r\nunto Him. They knew not this way, and deemed themselves exalted amongst\r\nthe stars and shining; and behold, they fell upon the earth, and their\r\nfoolish heart was darkened. They discourse many things truly concerning\r\nthe creature; but Truth, Artificer of the creature, they seek not\r\npiously, and therefore find Him not; or if they find Him, knowing Him\r\nto be God, they glorify Him not as God, neither are thankful, but\r\nbecome vain in their imaginations, and profess themselves to be wise,\r\nattributing to themselves what is Thine; and thereby with most perverse\r\nblindness, study to impute to Thee what is their own, forging lies of\r\nThee who art the Truth, and changing the glory of uncorruptible God\r\ninto an image made like corruptible man, and to birds, and four-footed\r\nbeasts, and creeping things, changing Thy truth into a lie, and\r\nworshipping and serving the creature more than the Creator.\r\n\r\nYet many truths concerning the creature retained I from these men, and\r\nsaw the reason thereof 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