{"id":"01KJR8Q6AHM7BZ3THW0SZEJC08","cid":"bafkreigjkbnagbrszubp6c5ujlr3lppuzbduha2voywmwzred2cnrj6uli","type":"text_chunk","properties":{"char_end":128214,"char_start":120216,"chunk_index":17,"chunk_total":89,"estimated_tokens":2000,"source_file_key":"confessions","text":"being able to see these in the mind, I thought I could not see my mind.\r\nAnd whereas in virtue I loved peace, and in viciousness I abhorred\r\ndiscord; in the first I observed a unity, but in the other, a sort\r\nof division. And in that unity I conceived the rational soul, and the\r\nnature of truth and of the chief good to consist; but in this division\r\nI miserably imagined there to be some unknown substance of irrational\r\nlife, and the nature of the chief evil, which should not only be a\r\nsubstance, but real life also, and yet not derived from Thee, O my God,\r\nof whom are all things. And yet that first I called a Monad, as it had\r\nbeen a soul without sex; but the latter a Duad;--anger, in deeds of\r\nviolence, and in flagitiousness, lust; not knowing whereof I spake. For\r\nI had not known or learned that neither was evil a substance, nor our\r\nsoul that chief and unchangeable good.\r\n\r\nFor as deeds of violence arise, if that emotion of the soul be\r\ncorrupted, whence vehement action springs, stirring itself insolently\r\nand unrulily; and lusts, when that affection of the soul is ungoverned,\r\nwhereby carnal pleasures are drunk in, so do errors and false opinions\r\ndefile the conversation, if the reasonable soul itself be corrupted; as\r\nit was then in me, who knew not that it must be enlightened by another\r\nlight, that it may be partaker of truth, seeing itself is not that\r\nnature of truth. For Thou shalt light my candle, O Lord my God, Thou\r\nshalt enlighten my darkness: and of Thy fulness have we all received,\r\nfor Thou art the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the\r\nworld; for in Thee there is no variableness, neither shadow of change.\r\n\r\nBut I pressed towards Thee, and was thrust from Thee, that I might taste\r\nof death: for thou resistest the proud. But what prouder, than for me\r\nwith a strange madness to maintain myself to be that by nature which\r\nThou art? For whereas I was subject to change (so much being manifest\r\nto me, my very desire to become wise, being the wish, of worse to become\r\nbetter), yet chose I rather to imagine Thee subject to change, and\r\nmyself not to be that which Thou art. Therefore I was repelled by Thee,\r\nand Thou resistedst my vain stiffneckedness, and I imagined corporeal\r\nforms, and, myself flesh, I accused flesh; and, a wind that passeth\r\naway, I returned not to Thee, but I passed on and on to things which\r\nhave no being, neither in Thee, nor in me, nor in the body. Neither were\r\nthey created for me by Thy truth, but by my vanity devised out of\r\nthings corporeal. And I was wont to ask Thy faithful little ones, my\r\nfellow-citizens (from whom, unknown to myself, I stood exiled), I was\r\nwont, prating and foolishly, to ask them, \"Why then doth the soul err\r\nwhich God created?\" But I would not be asked, \"Why then doth God\r\nerr?\" And I maintained that Thy unchangeable substance did err upon\r\nconstraint, rather than confess that my changeable substance had gone\r\nastray voluntarily, and now, in punishment, lay in error.\r\n\r\nI was then some six or seven and twenty years old when I wrote those\r\nvolumes; revolving within me corporeal fictions, buzzing in the ears\r\nof my heart, which I turned, O sweet truth, to thy inward melody,\r\nmeditating on the \"fair and fit,\" and longing to stand and hearken to\r\nThee, and to rejoice greatly at the Bridegroom's voice, but could not;\r\nfor by the voices of mine own errors, I was hurried abroad, and through\r\nthe weight of my own pride, I was sinking into the lowest pit. For Thou\r\ndidst not make me to hear joy and gladness, nor did the bones exult\r\nwhich were not yet humbled.\r\n\r\nAnd what did it profit me, that scarce twenty years old, a book of\r\nAristotle, which they call the ten Predicaments, falling into my hands\r\n(on whose very name I hung, as on something great and divine, so often\r\nas my rhetoric master of Carthage, and others, accounted learned,\r\nmouthed it with cheeks bursting with pride), I read and understood it\r\nunaided? And on my conferring with others, who said that they scarcely\r\nunderstood it with very able tutors, not only orally explaining it, but\r\ndrawing many things in sand, they could tell me no more of it than I had\r\nlearned, reading it by myself. And the book appeared to me to speak very\r\nclearly of substances, such as \"man,\" and of their qualities, as the\r\nfigure of a man, of what sort it is; and stature, how many feet high;\r\nand his relationship, whose brother he is; or where placed; or when\r\nborn; or whether he stands or sits; or be shod or armed; or does, or\r\nsuffers anything; and all the innumerable things which might be ranged\r\nunder these nine Predicaments, of which I have given some specimens, or\r\nunder that chief Predicament of Substance.\r\n\r\nWhat did all this further me, seeing it even hindered me? when,\r\nimagining whatever was, was comprehended under those ten Predicaments,\r\nI essayed in such wise to understand, O my God, Thy wonderful and\r\nunchangeable Unity also, as if Thou also hadst been subjected to Thine\r\nown greatness or beauty; so that (as in bodies) they should exist in\r\nThee, as their subject: whereas Thou Thyself art Thy greatness and\r\nbeauty; but a body is not great or fair in that it is a body, seeing\r\nthat, though it were less great or fair, it should notwithstanding be\r\na body. But it was falsehood which of Thee I conceived, not truth,\r\nfictions of my misery, not the realities of Thy blessedness. For Thou\r\nhadst commanded, and it was done in me, that the earth should bring\r\nforth briars and thorns to me, and that in the sweat of my brows I\r\nshould eat my bread.\r\n\r\nAnd what did it profit me, that all the books I could procure of the\r\nso-called liberal arts, I, the vile slave of vile affections, read by\r\nmyself, and understood? And I delighted in them, but knew not whence\r\ncame all, that therein was true or certain. For I had my back to the\r\nlight, and my face to the things enlightened; whence my face, with which\r\nI discerned the things enlightened, itself was not enlightened.\r\nWhatever was written, either on rhetoric, or logic, geometry, music,\r\nand arithmetic, by myself without much difficulty or any instructor,\r\nI understood, Thou knowest, O Lord my God; because both quickness of\r\nunderstanding, and acuteness in discerning, is Thy gift: yet did I not\r\nthence sacrifice to Thee. So then it served not to my use, but rather\r\nto my perdition, since I went about to get so good a portion of my\r\nsubstance into my own keeping; and I kept not my strength for Thee, but\r\nwandered from Thee into a far country, to spend it upon harlotries. For\r\nwhat profited me good abilities, not employed to good uses? For I felt\r\nnot that those arts were attained with great difficulty, even by the\r\nstudious and talented, until I attempted to explain them to such; when\r\nhe most excelled in them who followed me not altogether slowly.\r\n\r\nBut what did this further me, imagining that Thou, O Lord God, the\r\nTruth, wert a vast and bright body, and I a fragment of that body?\r\nPerverseness too great! But such was I. Nor do I blush, O my God, to\r\nconfess to Thee Thy mercies towards me, and to call upon Thee, who\r\nblushed not then to profess to men my blasphemies, and to bark against\r\nThee. What profited me then my nimble wit in those sciences and all\r\nthose most knotty volumes, unravelled by me, without aid from human\r\ninstruction; seeing I erred so foully, and with such sacrilegious\r\nshamefulness, in the doctrine of piety? Or what hindrance was a far\r\nslower wit to Thy little ones, since they departed not far from Thee,\r\nthat in the nest of Thy Church they might securely be fledged, and\r\nnourish the wings of charity, by the food of a sound faith. O Lord our\r\nGod, under the shadow of Thy wings let us hope; protect us, and carry\r\nus. Thou wilt carry us both when little, and even to hoar hairs wilt\r\nThou carry us; for our firmness, when it is Thou, then is it firmness;\r\nbut when our own, it is infirmity. Our good ever lives with Thee;\r\nfrom which when we turn away, we are turned aside."},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KJR8NK5DAD726FMQ6JCHGZ5R","peer_label":"confessions","peer_type":"text","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KJR8M0JHPZXCPKJ34HTYXSWW","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KJR8R5M8VXDW8Z6YHQTCPK14","peer_label":"god","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"divine_being","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RCXDKK4JMV2E4EDZVF16","peer_label":"augustine of hippo","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMCHASPYH9FMTMDKEGPX","peer_label":"rational soul","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMJJWXFR3WYYR9N68JJV","peer_label":"chief good","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMSVEDWPZZD1PQ29EFYN","peer_label":"chief evil","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RM4YR8JVXGFVFVBT17F8","peer_label":"carthage","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"place","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RM7YG5SEXHBRC0W84Y9G","peer_label":"truth","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMCZG27EV7A8QHG84Z7E","peer_label":"the confessions","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"literary_work","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMFV6KNSNZ7XJXGFBKPV","peer_label":"aristotle","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RMCFS282X8NCZE4TM4SG","peer_label":"rhetoric master of carthage","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"person_role","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RN47N4QS51Z7BSY9VP5W","peer_label":"liberal arts","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"curriculum","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RN27NTG1JMX1JD4H9SKP","peer_label":"duad","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_term","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNB3KJ5T6Y46235RVC1C","peer_label":"evil","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RN5PVYVSXT7PEZPR28Y9","peer_label":"church","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"institution","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNTHN2YRYGF8S20Q3X03","peer_label":"unity","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNN67TAFV9EZ8QD870GS","peer_label":"predicaments aristotelian categories","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_framework","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RN1BR7GG303TB082P1HP","peer_label":"monad","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_term","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RP0ZQ22XJGYG6ZKX6F5M","peer_label":"division","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNKPQPF11JCQABFM4E6Y","peer_label":"substance aristotelian","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_concept","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RP48V8D7W421N11EJVD2","peer_label":"anger","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RNZBXXXW4F5YXJVNV5SS","peer_label":"ten predicaments","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"philosophical_text","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}},{"peer":"01KJR8RPTTVQV5XYT8K0P0RWYD","peer_label":"lust","predicate":"extracted_entity","properties":{"entity_type":"entity","extracted_at":"2026-03-02T21:55:16.128Z"}}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-03-02T21:54:24.721Z","ts":"2026-03-02T21:55:17.184Z","edited_by":{"method":"system","user_id":"01KJ60XQBHJ0GBGTP9X8HXAPPM"}}