{"id":"01KG6YH1XCVVJ91SNYZ1GK1XFQ","cid":"bafkreidg7x4t74gezfnt3sveiamfjttkhzvdzhbxjrda4gdb6mg6wmm7ja","type":"chunk","properties":{"end_line":3327,"extracted_at":"2026-01-30T07:57:45.581Z","extracted_by":"structure-extraction-lambda","label":"Chunk 17","source_file":"01KG6YDD8GKW0DRD5H2MY1NRZ7","start_line":3259,"text":"it. And by the way,\"--as he modestly received the money--\"have you any\r\nobjections to give me a--a--little certificate--something, say, like a\r\nsteamboat certificate, certifying that you, a competent surveyor, have\r\nsurveyed my chimney, and found no reason to believe any unsoundness; in\r\nshort, any--any secret closet in it. Would you be so kind, Mr. Scribe?\"\r\n\r\n\"But, but, sir,\" stammered he with honest hesitation.\r\n\r\n\"Here, here are pen and paper,\" said I, with entire assurance.\r\n\r\nEnough.\r\n\r\nThat evening I had the certificate framed and hung over the dining-room\r\nfireplace, trusting that the continual sight of it would forever put at\r\nrest at once the dreams and stratagems of my household.\r\n\r\nBut, no. Inveterately bent upon the extirpation of that noble old\r\nchimney, still to this day my wife goes about it, with my daughter\r\nAnna's geological hammer, tapping the wall all over, and then holding\r\nher ear against it, as I have seen the physicians of life insurance\r\ncompanies tap a man's chest, and then incline over for the echo.\r\nSometimes of nights she almost frightens one, going about on this\r\nphantom errand, and still following the sepulchral response of the\r\nchimney, round and round, as if it were leading her to the threshold of\r\nthe secret closet.\r\n\r\n\"How hollow it sounds,\" she will hollowly cry. \"Yes, I declare,\" with\r\nan emphatic tap, \"there is a secret closet here. Here, in this very\r\nspot. Hark! How hollow!\"\r\n\r\n\"Psha! wife, of course it is hollow. Who ever heard of a solid\r\nchimney?\" But nothing avails. And my daughters take after, not me, but\r\ntheir mother.\r\n\r\nSometimes all three abandon the theory of the secret closet and return\r\nto the genuine ground of attack--the unsightliness of so cumbrous a\r\npile, with comments upon the great addition of room to be gained by its\r\ndemolition, and the fine effect of the projected grand hall, and the\r\nconvenience resulting from the collateral running in one direction and\r\nanother of their various partitions. Not more ruthlessly did the Three\r\nPowers partition away poor Poland, than my wife and daughters would\r\nfain partition away my chimney.\r\n\r\nBut seeing that, despite all, I and my chimney still smoke our pipes,\r\nmy wife reoccupies the ground of the secret closet, enlarging upon\r\nwhat wonders are there, and what a shame it is, not to seek it out and\r\nexplore it.\r\n\r\n\"Wife,\" said I, upon one of these occasions, \"why speak more of that\r\nsecret closet, when there before you hangs contrary testimony of a\r\nmaster mason, elected by yourself to decide. Besides, even if there\r\nwere a secret closet, secret it should remain, and secret it shall.\r\nYes, wife, here for once I must say my say. Infinite sad mischief has\r\nresulted from the profane bursting open of secret recesses. Though\r\nstanding in the heart of this house, though hitherto we have all\r\nnestled about it, unsuspicious of aught hidden within, this chimney may\r\nor may not have a secret closet. But if it have, it is my kinsman's.\r\nTo break into that wall, would be to break into his breast. And that\r\nwall-breaking wish of Momus I account the wish of a church-robbing\r\ngossip and knave. Yes, wife, a vile eavesdropping varlet was Momus.\"\r\n\r\n\"Moses? Mumps? Stuff with your mumps and Moses?\"\r\n\r\nThe truth is, my wife, like all the rest of the world, cares not\r\na fig for philosophical jabber. In dearth of other philosophical\r\ncompanionship, I and my chimney have to smoke and philosophize\r\ntogether. And sitting up so late as we do at it, a mighty smoke it is\r\nthat we two smoky old philosophers make.\r\n\r","title":"Chunk 17"},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KG6YGBGPFPH23W72RDZNFT0X","peer_type":"segment","predicate":"in"},{"peer":"01KG6YDD8GKW0DRD5H2MY1NRZ7","peer_type":"file","predicate":"extractedFrom"},{"peer":"01KG6YCG626JN4FCG8QK17CQCF","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KG6YH1XC6PCC1AZ0Q896Y6RW","peer_type":"chunk","predicate":"prev"},{"peer":"01KG6YH1XC69V37JT4VSYKB8C4","peer_type":"chunk","predicate":"next"}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-01-30T07:57:48.844Z","ts":"2026-01-30T07:57:54.429Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFF0H3YRP9ZSM033AM0QJ47H"}}