{"id":"01KG6FJ3DFA4YYYCGBGVZ7E9XP","cid":"bafkreicrihuf26dpqt5qwez4vlsark5jbm7ucaictelvxk6ldfy2u65zxu","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreib2ongv5diyclec2srdbdsateka4lqnpjb2uilsu7l7iaylikgxna","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"Rye_page_0105.jpg","height":2400,"key":"pdf-page-1769744174309-3x0f5c1u48i","label":"Rye_page_0105.jpg","page_number":105,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":831942,"text":"I didn't want to, but I started thinking about old Mr. Antolini and I wondered what\nhe'd tell Mrs. Antolini when she saw I hadn't slept there or anything. That part didn't\nworry me too much, though, because I knew Mr. Antolini was very smart and that he\ncould make up something to tell her. He could tell her I'd gone home or something. That\npart didn't worry me much. But what did worry me was the part about how I'd woke up\nand found him patting me on the head and all. I mean I wondered if just maybe I was\nwrong about thinking be was making a flitty pass at ne. I wondered if maybe he just liked\nto pat guys on the head when they're asleep. I mean how can you tell about that stuff for\nsure? You can't. I even started wondering if maybe I should've got my bags and gone\nback to his house, the way I'd said I would. I mean I started thinking that even if he was a\nflit he certainly'd been very nice to me. I thought how he hadn't minded it when I'd called\nhim up so late, and how he'd told me to come right over if I felt like it. And how he went\nto all that trouble giving me that advice about finding out the size of your mind and all,\nand how he was the only guy that'd even gone near that boy James Castle I told you about\nwhen he was dead. I thought about all that stuff. And the more I thought about it, the\nmore depressed I got. I mean I started thinking maybe I should've gone back to his house.\nMaybe he was only patting my head just for the hell of it. The more I thought about it,\nthough, the more depressed and screwed up about it I got. What made it even worse, my\neyes were sore as hell. They felt sore and burny from not getting too much sleep. Besides\nthat, I was getting sort of a cold, and I didn't even have a goddam handkerchief with me. I\nhad some in my suitcase, but I didn't feel like taking it out of that strong box and opening\nit up right in public and all.\nThere was this magazine that somebody'd left on the bench next to me, so I\nstarted reading it, thinking it'd make me stop thinking about Mr. Antolini and a million\nother things for at least a little while. But this damn article I started reading made me feel\nalmost worse. It was all about hormones. It described how you should look, your face and\neyes and all, if your hormones were in good shape, and I didn't look that way at all. I\nlooked exactly like the guy in the article with lousy hormones. So I started getting\nworried about my hormones. Then I read this other article about how you can tell if you\nhave cancer or not. It said if you had any sores in your mouth that didn't heal pretty\nquickly, it was a sign that you probably had cancer. I'd had this sore on the inside of my\nlip for about two weeks. So figured I was getting cancer. That magazine was some little\ncheerer upper. I finally quit reading it and went outside for a walk. I figured I'd be dead in\na couple of months because I had cancer. I really did. I was even positive I would be. It\ncertainly didn't make me feel too gorgeous. It'sort of looked like it was going to rain, but I\nwent for this walk anyway. For one thing, I figured I ought to get some breakfast. I wasn't\nat all hungry, but I figured I ought to at least eat something. I mean at least get something\nwith some vitamins in it. So I started walking way over east, where the pretty cheap\nrestaurants are, because I didn't want to spend a lot of dough.\nWhile I was walking, I passed these two guys that were unloading this big\nChristmas tree off a truck. One guy kept saying to the other guy, \"Hold the sonuvabitch\nup! Hold it up, for Chrissake!\" It certainly was a gorgeous way to talk about a Christmas\ntree. It was sort of funny, though, in an awful way, and I started to sort of laugh. It was\nabout the worst thing I could've done, because the minute I started to laugh I thought I\nwas going to vomit. I really did. I even started to, but it went away. I don't know why. I\nmean I hadn't eaten anything unsanitary or like that and usually I have quite a strong","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:14.309Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true,"width":1855},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFHMJM2J9JHQAQM1Q9SKBJWF","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KFF1K6A8V452X8SQKY55DD16","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KG6FJ3F5T4R1VF65D5GM95WP","predicate":"prev"},{"peer":"01KG6FJ3CTHMH8NT7E4ZRT8RPR","predicate":"next"},{"peer":"01KG6FNPSBXADWGEVNYQKB52J2","peer_label":"Rye_page_0105_medium.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FNT2C4BS1S9Z4BGP3ZCC7","peer_label":"Rye_page_0105_thumb.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FT59BXAZ3C5HRJ6SW8F58","predicate":"has_assembly"}],"ver":6,"created_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:14.511Z","ts":"2026-01-30T03:40:42.700Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFFC4A8W8939TXGEXCK439ZK"}}