{"id":"01KG6FJ3CVMDJQ3S92YSVRAB8C","cid":"bafkreihgtkq47ve47g2y64nmwh3yjjrzvd6adgc5bitq3extbs44en24bu","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreibe4csq6mopg4adqc6vbpx7ycdwaacfe2kkafw6ib7qzpo7mv7l6u","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"Rye_page_0101.jpg","height":2400,"key":"pdf-page-1769744174307-ppzaju5ek7","label":"Rye_page_0101.jpg","page_number":101,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":679698,"text":"What I may do, I may hate them for a little while, like this guy Stradlater I knew at\nPencey, and this other boy, Robert Ackley. I hated them once in a while--I admit it--but it\ndoesn't last too long, is what I mean. After a while, if I didn't see them, if they didn't\ncome in the room, or if I didn't see them in the dining room for a couple of meals, I sort\nof missed them. I mean I sort of missed them.\"\nMr. Antolini didn't say anything for a while. He got up and got another hunk of\nice and put it in his drink, then he sat down again. You could tell he was thinking. I kept\nwishing, though, that he'd continue the conversation in the morning, instead of now, but\nhe was hot. People are mostly hot to have a discussion when you're not.\n\"All right. Listen to me a minute now . . . I may not word this as memorably as I'd\nlike to, but I'll write you a letter about it in a day or two. Then you can get it all straight.\nBut listen now, anyway.\" He started concentrating again. Then he said, \"This fall I think\nyou're riding for--it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted\nto feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole\narrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking\nfor something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their\nown environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up\nbefore they ever really even got started. You follow me?\"\n\"Yes, sir.\"\n\"Sure?\"\n\"Yes.\"\nHe got up and poured some more booze in his glass. Then he sat down again. He\ndidn't say anything for a long time.\n\"I don't want to scare you,\" he said, \"but I can very clearly see you dying nobly,\none way or another, for some highly unworthy cause.\" He gave me a funny look. \"If I\nwrite something down for you, will you read it carefully? And keep it?\"\n\"Yes. Sure,\" I said. I did, too. I still have the paper he gave me.\nHe went over to this desk on the other side of the room, and without sitting down\nwrote something on a piece of paper. Then he came back and sat down with the paper in\nhis hand. \"Oddly enough, this wasn't written by a practicing poet. It was written by a\npsychoanalyst named Wilhelm Stekel. Here's what he--Are you still with me?\"\n\"Yes, sure I am.\"\n\"Here's what he said: 'The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly\nfor a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.'\"\nHe leaned over and handed it to me. I read it right when he gave it to me, and then\nI thanked him and all and put it in my pocket. It was nice of him to go to all that trouble.\nIt really was. The thing was, though, I didn't feel much like concentrating. Boy, I felt so\ndamn tired all of a sudden.\nYou could tell he wasn't tired at all, though. He was pretty oiled up, for one thing.\n\"I think that one of these days,\" he said, \"you're going to have to find out where you want\nto go. And then you've got to start going there. But immediately. You can't afford to lose\na minute. Not you.\"\nI nodded, because he was looking right at me and all, but I wasn't too sure what he\nwas talking about. I was pretty sure I knew, but I wasn't too positive at the time. I was too\ndamn tired.","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:14.307Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true,"width":1855},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFHMJM2J9JHQAQM1Q9SKBJWF","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KFF1K6A8V452X8SQKY55DD16","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KG6FHSKJQT59GQFSQ3KGN45S","predicate":"prev"},{"peer":"01KG6FJ3CFKACN8FY1N6FC6NRX","predicate":"next"},{"peer":"01KG6FNKVZVE0GXX119J64941Z","peer_label":"Rye_page_0101_medium.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FNQC3GNB0E7YQBJ0SDM8F","peer_label":"Rye_page_0101_thumb.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FT59BXAZ3C5HRJ6SW8F58","predicate":"has_assembly"}],"ver":6,"created_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:14.491Z","ts":"2026-01-30T03:40:42.692Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFFC4A8W8939TXGEXCK439ZK"}}