{"id":"01KG6FHSKJ2RA5BWV6N43WKKXD","cid":"bafkreihvckpsxg27kauzhbnr5coosbzvwxdkw2hxusmfoq2as3nr6kp3wq","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreifievng2jci5oka3qjnifrg777wljp4nzw2hepgeflvn5dde5quq4","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"Rye_page_0083.jpg","height":2400,"key":"pdf-page-1769744163171-g4796kg0nmc","label":"Rye_page_0083.jpg","page_number":83,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":828680,"text":"anyway. I damn near cried, it made me feel so terrible, but all I did was, I took the pieces\nout of the envelope and put them in my coat pocket. They weren't any good for anything,\nbut I didn't feel like just throwing them away. Then I went in the park. Boy, was it dark.\nI've lived in New York all my life, and I know Central Park like the back of my\nhand, because I used to roller-skate there all the time and ride my bike when I was a kid,\nbut I had the most terrific trouble finding that lagoon that night. I knew right where it\nwas--it was right near Central Park South and all--but I still couldn't find it. I must've\nbeen drunker than I thought. I kept walking and walking, and it kept getting darker and\ndarker and spookier and spookier. I didn't see one person the whole time I was in the\npark. I'm just as glad. I probably would've jumped about a mile if I had. Then, finally, I\nfound it. What it was, it was partly frozen and partly not frozen. But I didn't see any\nducks around. I walked all around the whole damn lake--I damn near fell in once, in fact-\n-but I didn't see a single duck. I thought maybe if there were any around, they might be\nasleep or something near the edge of the water, near the grass and all. That's how I nearly\nfell in. But I couldn't find any.\nFinally I sat down on this bench, where it wasn't so goddam dark. Boy, I was still\nshivering like a bastard, and the back of my hair, even though I had my hunting hat on,\nwas sort of full of little hunks of ice. That worried me. I thought probably I'd get\npneumonia and die. I started picturing millions of jerks coming to my funeral and all. My\ngrandfather from Detroit, that keeps calling out the numbers of the streets when you ride\non a goddam bus with him, and my aunts--I have about fifty aunts--and all my lousy\ncousins. What a mob'd be there. They all came when Allie died, the whole goddam stupid\nbunch of them. I have this one stupid aunt with halitosis that kept saying how peaceful he\nlooked lying there, D.B. told me. I wasn't there. I was still in the hospital. I had to go to\nthe hospital and all after I hurt my hand. Anyway, I kept worrying that I was getting\npneumonia, with all those hunks of ice in my hair, and that I was going to die. I felt sorry\nas hell for my mother and father. Especially my mother, because she still isn't over my\nbrother Allie yet. I kept picturing her not knowing what to do with all my suits and\nathletic equipment and all. The only good thing, I knew she wouldn't let old Phoebe come\nto my goddam funeral because she was only a little kid. That was the only good part.\nThen I thought about the whole bunch of them sticking me in a goddam cemetery and all,\nwith my name on this tombstone and all. Surrounded by dead guys. Boy, when you're\ndead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to\njust dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam\ncemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and\nall that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.\nWhen the weather's nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of\nflowers on old Allie's grave. I went with them a couple of times, but I cut it out. In the\nfirst place, I certainly don't enjoy seeing him in that crazy cemetery. Surrounded by dead\nguys and tombstones and all. It wasn't too bad when the sun was out, but twice--twice--\nwe were there when it started to rain. It was awful. It rained on his lousy tombstone, and\nit rained on the grass on his stomach. It rained all over the place. All the visitors that were\nvisiting the cemetery started running like hell over to their cars. That's what nearly drove\nme crazy. All the visitors could get in their cars and turn on their radios and all and then\ngo someplace nice for dinner--everybody except Allie. I couldn't stand it. I know it's only\nhis body and all that's in the cemetery, and his soul's in Heaven and all that crap, but I","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:03.171Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true,"width":1855},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFHMJM2J9JHQAQM1Q9SKBJWF","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KFF1K6A8V452X8SQKY55DD16","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"},{"peer":"01KG6FHSKSMPZ850EW3N44MGQH","predicate":"prev"},{"peer":"01KG6FHT90W00WKDRSGRP5DB9E","predicate":"next"},{"peer":"01KG6FMHEDF09VSBXTXGG52W0T","peer_label":"Rye_page_0083_medium.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FMN0FW8T816DD8ZWS0CDJ","peer_label":"Rye_page_0083_thumb.jpg","peer_type":"file","predicate":"has_derivative"},{"peer":"01KG6FT59BXAZ3C5HRJ6SW8F58","predicate":"has_assembly"}],"ver":6,"created_at":"2026-01-30T03:36:04.466Z","ts":"2026-01-30T03:40:41.643Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFFC4A8W8939TXGEXCK439ZK"}}