{"id":"01KFE0G23DSFQSFJ5BFREJXPAM","cid":"bafkreih63pvn4ejopt5noahp7wcw4ae5nnw3r4iv7mf67xyciocupskwey","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreiaid5jpcof4wwpgpecwqhu22grsjehpb3yx4mfyqb56mara7ha2me","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0497.jpg","key":"pdf-page-1768923071996-5lqn985rp1h","label":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0497.jpg","page_number":497,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":207023,"text":"CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 489\nfails.) By that stupidity I only wanted to put myself into an in-\ndependent position, to take the first step, to obtain means, anc\nthen everything would have been smoothed over by benefits im-\nmeasurable incomparison. . . . But I ... I couldn't carry out\neven the first step, because I am contemptible, that's what's the\nmatter! And yet I won't look at it as you do. If I had succeeded\nI should have been crowned with glory, but now I'm trapped.\"\n\"But that's not so, not so! Brother, what are you saying?\"\n\"Ah, it's not picturesque, not a:sthetically attractive! I fail\nto understand why bombarding people by regular siege is more\nhonourable. The fear of appearances is the first symptom of\nimpotence. I've never, never recognised this more clearly than\nnow, and I am farther than ever from seeing that what I did\nwas a crime. I've never, never been stronger and more convinced\nthan now.\"\nThe colour had rushed into his pale exhausted face, but as he\nuttered his last explanation, he happened to meet Dounia's eyes\nand he saw such anguish in them that he could not help being\nchecked. He felt that he had any way made these two poor\nwomen miserable, that he was any way the cause. . . .\n\"Dounia darling, if I am guilty forgive me (though I cannot\nbe forgiven if I am guilty) . Good-bye! We won't dispute. It's\ntime, high time to go. Don't follow me, I beseech you, I have\nsomewhere else to go. . . . But you go at once and sit with mother.\nI entreat you to! It's my last request of you. Don't leave her\nat all; I left her in a state of anxiety, that she is not fit to bear;\nshe will die or go out of her mind. Be with her! Razumihin will\nbe with you. I've been talking to him. . . . Don't cry about\nme: I'll try to be honest and manly all my life, even if I am\na murderer. Perhaps I shall some day make a name. I won't\ndisgrace you, you will see; I'll still show. . . . Now good-bye\nfor the present,\" he concluded hurriedly, noticing again a\nstrange expression in Dounia's eyes at his last words and prom-\nises. \"Wliy are you crying? Don't cry, don't cry: we are not\nparting for ever! Ah, yes! Wait a minute, I'd forgotten!\"\nHe went to the table, took up a thick dusty book, opened it\nand took from between the pages a little water-colour portrait\non ivory. It was the portrait of his landlady's daughter, who had\ndied of fever, that strange girl who had wanted to be a nun. For","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-20T15:31:11.996Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFCZZ05FKVDDMJJV3YE9Q4WH","peer_label":"crimepunishment00dostiala.pdf","peer_type":"file","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KESYJX0Z6XE0HWTS5N3SDG0B","peer_label":"The Classics","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-01-20T15:31:12.832Z","ts":"2026-01-20T15:31:14.084Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFCZWTBNJH4WFMS8354919KY"}}