{"id":"01KFE0EZGHBCYNR8KK5RXNQP9K","cid":"bafkreid3f6bykrhlvscqsyo463tpfuhnt2hm2cyp3c5hjjvnjrnij3nf5u","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreiekbutlqsnbe4id7mcjl4fwh2uisv2dyu3rijn5jzlw5rs7de5scq","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0399.jpg","key":"pdf-page-1768923036582-3pmdjgl3v6i","label":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0399.jpg","page_number":399,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":202389,"text":"CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 391\n• Again a wave of the same feeling surged into his heart, and\nagain for an instant softened it.\n\"Sonia, I have a bad heart, take note of that. It may explain\na great deal. I have come because I am bad. There are men\nwho wouldn't have come. But I am a coward and ... a mean\nwretch. But . . . never mind! That's not the point. I must speak\nnow, but I don't know how to begin.\"\nHe paused and sank into thought.\n\"Ach, we are so different,\" he cried again, \"we are not alike.\nAnd why, why did I come? I shall never forgive myself that.\"\n\"No, no, it was a good thing you came,\" cried Sonia. \"It's\nbetter I should know, far better!\"\nHe looked at her with anguish.\n\"What if it were really that?\" he said, as though reaching a\nconclusion. \"Yes, that's what it was! I wanted to become a\nNapoleon, that is why I killed her. . . . Do you understand now?\"\n\"N-no,\" Sonia whispered naively and timidly. \"Only speak,\nspeak, ,1 shall understand, I shall understand in myself!\" she\nkept begging him.\n\"You'll understand? Very well, we shall see!\" He pausedand was for some time lost in meditation.\n\"It was like this: I asked myself one day this question — what\nif Napoleon, for instance, had happened to be in my place,\nand if he had not had Toulon nor Egypt nor the passage of Mont\nBlanc to begin his career with, but instead of all those pic-\nturesque and monumental things, there had simply been some\nridiculous old hag, a pawnbroker, who had to be murdered too\nto get money from her trunk (for his career, you understand).\nWell, would he have brought himself to that, if there had been\nno other means? Wouldn't he have felt a pang at its being so\nfar from monumental and . . . and sinful, too? Well, I must tell\nyou that I worried myself fearfully over that 'question' so that\nI was awfully ashamed when I guessed at last (all of a sudden,\nsomehow) that it would not have given him the least pang, that\nit would not even have struck him that it was not monumental\n. . . that he would not have seen that there was anything in it\nto pause over, and that, if he had had no other way, he would\nhave strangled her in a minute without thinking about it! Well,\nI too . . . left off thinking about it . . . murdered her, following\nhis example. And that's exactly how it was! Do you think it","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-20T15:30:36.582Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFCZZ05FKVDDMJJV3YE9Q4WH","peer_label":"crimepunishment00dostiala.pdf","peer_type":"file","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KESYJX0Z6XE0HWTS5N3SDG0B","peer_label":"The Classics","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-01-20T15:30:37.429Z","ts":"2026-01-20T15:30:38.578Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFCZWTBNJH4WFMS8354919KY"}}