{"id":"01KFE0BT1XWS8923PB2V5MF2X6","cid":"bafkreign2fra4uwrborr3djk6yyt2i5wlwrdjmk3p2ns44tzewwndszxey","type":"file","properties":{"cid":"bafkreihintlr6z3tjb4rckntefadhx6qnpuohixwbojlewei5wsp76tpti","content_type":"image/jpeg","filename":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0022.jpg","key":"pdf-page-1768922932933-072m1nc6fqj","label":"crimepunishment00dostiala_page_0022.jpg","page_number":22,"pdf_type":"born_digital","size":223536,"text":"14 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT\nfor she's been used to cleanliness from a child. But her chest is\nweak and she has a tendency to consumption and I feel it! Do\nyou suppose I don't feel it? And the more I drink the more I\nfeel it. That's why I drink too. I try to find sympathy and feel-\ning in drink. ... I drink so that I may suffer twice as much!\"\nAnd as though in despair he laid his head down on the table.\n\"Young man,\" he went on, raising his head again, \"in your\nface I seem to read some trouble of mind. When you came in I\nread it, and that was why I addressed you at once. For in un-\nfolding toyou the story of my life, I do not wish to make myself\na laughing-stock before these idle listeners, who indeed know all\nabout it already, but I am looking for a man of feeling and\neducation. Know then that my wife was educated in a high-\nclass school for the daughters of noblemen, and on leaving she\ndanced the shawl dance before the governor and other person-\nages for which she was presented with a gold medal and a certifi-\ncate of merit. The medal . . . well, the medal of course was sold\n— long ago, hm . . . but the certificate of merit is in her trunk\nstill and not long ago she showed it to our landlady. And al-\nthough she is most continually on bad terms with the landlady,\nyet she wanted to tell some one or other of her past honours and\nof the happy days that are gone. I don't condemn her for it,\nI don't blame her, for the one thing left her is recollection of the\npast, and all the rest is dust and ashes. Yes, yes, she is a lady of\nspirit, proud and determined. She scrubs the floors herself and\nhas nothing but black bread to eat, but won't allow herself to\nbe treated with disrespect. That's why she would not overlook\nMr. Lebeziatnikov's rudeness to her, and so when he gave her a\nbeating for it, she took to her bed more from the hurt to her\nfeelings than from the blows. She was a widow when I married\nher, with three children, one smaller than the other. She mar-\nried her first husband, an infantry officer, for love, and ran away\nwith him from her father's house. She was exceedingly fond of\nher husband; but he gave way to cards, got into trouble and\nwith that he died. He used to beat her at the end: and although\nshe paid him back, of which I have authentic documentary evi-\ndence, to this day she speaks of him with tears and she throws\nhim up at me; and I am glad, I am glad that, though only in\nimagination, she should think of herself as having once been\nhappy. . . , And she was left at his death with three children","text_extracted_at":"2026-01-20T15:28:52.933Z","text_extracted_by":"pdf-processor","text_has_content":true,"text_source":"born_digital","uploaded":true},"relationships":[{"peer":"01KFCZZ05FKVDDMJJV3YE9Q4WH","peer_label":"crimepunishment00dostiala.pdf","peer_type":"file","predicate":"derived_from"},{"peer":"01KESYJX0Z6XE0HWTS5N3SDG0B","peer_label":"The Classics","peer_type":"collection","predicate":"collection"}],"ver":2,"created_at":"2026-01-20T15:28:53.483Z","ts":"2026-01-20T15:28:54.448Z","edited_by":{"method":"manual","user_id":"01KFCZWTBNJH4WFMS8354919KY"}}